This is when we think our happiness depends on the actions of others. The fallacy of change also assumes that other people should change to suit us automatically and/or that it is fair to pressure them to change.
Blaming is simply saying someone or something is responsible for something bad that happened to them.
This thinking trap involves focusing on the worst possible outcome of a situation, and not on the most likely or probable outcome.
This thinking trap is a little bit like catastrophising, but it’s more exaggerating the possibility of something bad happening, rather than completely believing it will happen.
In the emotional reasoning Thinking Trap something is believed true and real based only on a feeling.
This type of personalisation is closely linked with catastrophic thinking. However, in this case the negative conclusion is drawn that: “what is happening is not only awful…. but that I am to blame”.
Despite a lack of evidence, we relate comments and actions back to ourselves. Criticism where it was not intended is a part of this pattern. As is having feelings hurt consistently by things that are not intended in that way.
This is the plague of social media. We look at others and compare ourselves unfairly to them.
Example: someone might say:”I will never be as good as Jane.”
Replace with:
“I am going to live my life and be true to my values. I’ll try to be a little bit better version of myself every day, always trying to live my best life, my way.”
Comparisons to others will always let you down. Our feeling of being less than constantly triggers us to compare what we don’t have with others. This channels self criticism, negativity and anxiety.